Victims+of+Bullying

=Be Alert to Warning Signs of Victimization= Watch for warning signs that your child might be the victim of bullying. Here are some questions to ask yourself: • Does my child fear going to school? Is my child anxious about school? Has my child been out sick a lot? Does my child often complain about not feeling well as a way of avoiding school? • Have I noticed bruises on my child? When I a sk my child about the bruises, what is the response? • Does my child have friends? Who are the friends? Have I seen the way that they interact? Is my child submissive or withdrawn with other children? • Does my child seem unhappy or insecure? Does my child talk about “nobody liking her” or “not having any friends?” Does my child talk about wanting to hurt someone or get back at someone? • Does my child seem to have low self-esteem or self-confidence? Does my child have difficulty being assertive? =Who are the Victims of Bullying?= Bullying victims tend to be polar opposites of bullies. They are often shy and quiet, with few friends and little social support at school. They may be physically weak or lack confidence in their strength. Hence, they rarely stand up to bullies. Victims often have poor social skills. One study showed that students and teachers perceive victims to: Most victims do nothing actively to provoke their tormentors. Their helplessness does it for them. But as the last item above suggests, one subgroup is different: “provocative” or “aggressive” victims. These youths are impulsive and socially clumsy. They often have reading and writing problems and show characteristics of attention-deficit disorder (ADHD). Their behavior tends to elicit negative reactions from other students. Because these youngsters may even try to bully others themselves, some call them “bully-victims.” In his study “Bullies, Aggressive Victims and Victims: Are They Distinct Groups?” James D. Unnevern of Radford University found that aggressive victims were less proactively aggressive but more reactively aggressive than pure bullies. They were also substantially more proactively aggressive than pure victims. Most studies show more boys are bullies than girls. Yet girls bully, too. Although physical bullying happens among girls, they tend to use subtler and less-direct tactics such as excluding someone from their group, spreading rumors or manipulating friendship relations. In one study of middle-school peer harassment, however, there were no differences in the perceptions of bullying between boys and girls. Online, girls generally mock others’ appearance, while boys tend to make more sexually explicit comments, according to Mary Worthington, an elementary education counselor for the Network of Victim Assistance (NOVA), which offers prevention-education programs to students and parents.
 * display vulnerability (e.g., “look scared”).
 * be nonassertive (e.g., “gives in to the bully too easily”).
 * reward, and thus reinforce, bullying (e.g., “cries when picked on”).
 * be withdrawn and solitary (e.g., “talks quietly”).
 * be “provocative” or “aggressive” (e.g., “annoys other kids”).